The Best Advice To Save Your Relationship | The Communication Blog

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Best Advice To Save Your Relationship

By Donna J. Rouse

Often times, relationships start getting into troubled waters when two people cease to communicate. Feelings of disconnection, loneliness, and frustration cause a vicious cycle of arguments from the slightest things. Messages and actions are misinterpreted and the end result is a break-up or a divorce.

In contrast, couples whose relationships are harmonious tend to be the couples who can communicate clearly and positively with each other. Successful communication channels allow positive messages and feelings to flow back and forth which strengthens their bonds.

A lot of couples don't realize that they have negative communication channels. They only notice that they keep fighting and feeling bad whenever they speak to each other. Before they can improve the way they communicate with each other, they first need to realize that they are doing something wrong.

Many times words and actions are opposite of each other. While nice words might come out of the mouth, the actions that accompany it can be negative. When this happens, the listener is drawn more to interpreting the actions as opposed to words.

For example, if you compliment someone make sure it is accompanied by a smile, not a frown. If you frown while saying something nice, the words are taken the opposite way, no matter what was meant. In fact, it becomes even worse as it could be taken for sarcasm.

Sometimes, couples do not notice that they are sending out these conflicting signals. Soon, the method of communication becomes habitual and they end up being unsatisfied with being around each other. Arguments then erupt.

To end the cycle of miscommunication, couples need to realize what they are doing wrong and make a conscious effort to change their negative communication patterns. This might be difficult at first, but with practice anyone can change the way they communicate.

One way to make the process easier is to go to a relationship councilor who can work with the couple to point out where they start sending wrong messages. These people are trained professionals who can give clarity to their communication deficiencies and suggest ways to modify or resolve it.

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