Men: The Rescuers | The Communication Blog

Friday, June 18, 2010

Men: The Rescuers

By Dr. Vance Hardisty

"I want out!" Tears and screams punctuated Lily's accusations "You don't understand! You don't care! You - just - don't - get - it!!"

"You're the one who doesn't get it," Darryl yelled at her retreating back. "You never did. You're just a spoiled rotten brat. Always trying to change me. Well, I'm not changing. Get that? I'm not changing anything."

V:3 It didn't sound like it, but Darryl loved his wife dearly and wanted to save their marriage. The truth was, though - he really didn't get it. He didn't understand.

Lily was wrong about one thing, however. Darryl really did care - he just didn't know what to do about their fighting and deteriorating relationship. He was like a boxer in the ring - blindfolded. He knew he had an opponent, but had no idea who the opponent was and where the opponent would strike.

Lily, on the other hand, just couldn't comprehend why the man was unable to see what was so obvious to her. Instead of working things through so that they both got it, then, she nagged him. He had no idea what her problem was and why she was constantly nagging him. He reacted the wrong way which made her think, Why should we try to save this marriage? It's too painful.

Darryl's main problem? He didn't have an interpreter to tell him what she was saying. There was no one to tell him what to look for in his relationship with Lily and what it meant once he found it...if he did. He didn't have someone to translate her words, looks and emotions so that they made sense and he could rescue her and the situation. If he's had someone AND if he had taken action, then all the frustration and anger that he was directing at his wife could have been directed at the real problems instead.

Lily loved Darryl, too. She loved him as much as she had when they got married; as much as he loved her. But because she couldn't get through to him and he let the problems go on too long, he lost her. She walked out. V:3

He also understands at this point how to interpret that language. But instead of acknowledging that he blew it, he continues to point fingers at Lily, saying it was all her fault. Tragically, when he gets into his next relationship, even though he can now interpret the language being used, it's doubtful that he will take action, because of his refusal to take responsibility.

Every man has the ability to save his marriage and in reality, treat his wife in a way that will make her feel like a queen, even if she had her pick of the hottest and handsomest. Ever man has the capacity to make any situation change for the better. All he has to do is get an interpreter so he can understand what is being said and, more importantly, what is not being said. THEN with that knowledge, he can take action.

Well, we're the interpreters here at Love Relationship Headquarters. We have seen what appeared to be the dumbest, most clueless jerks save their marriages and transform themselves into men their women would die for - once they used the correct rules of interpretation. Trust us, if these guys could do it, anyone can!

It really is as simple as asking yourself if you want to save your marriage by any means necessary. If the answer is yes, we've got the tools for you to use - and they're available now. Get them, put them into action and your marriage will be saved. Even if you haven't gotten to a breaking point in your marriage yet, you can make changes to ensure that you won't ever get there. Use these tools and your marriage will be made far better than what it is now.

Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and author Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters www.Loverelationshipheadquarters.com

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