Make Yourself Heard | The Communication Blog

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Make Yourself Heard

By Takara Alexis

What part of the words "just a trim" didn't the hair-hacking stylist get? Did you not go over how that silk shirt needed to be hand dried? Wasn't it your idea that just come out of your colleague's mouth and is now "the most genius thing" your boss has ever heard?

Do people avoid making any sort of eye contact with you while you are just trying to be helpful? Do you get interrupted? It is possible that you may be looked at as a know-it-all, or your suggestions could seem like criticism. Eventually people might stop listening to what you have to say altogether. Next time you have advice to give, try asking, "Would you like to hear what I think?" Or "I have a different point-of-view, would you like to listen to it?"

While you're talking, do people look at their Blackberries or make you feel like you are wasting their time? It is a possibility that you could losing peoples interest due to a discrepancy in communication styles.

If you are speaking to slowly to a faster paced person, their mind might travel to other places; if you talk too rapidly to a slower-paced person, he may feel alarmed and tune out. So next time note how slow or fast the other person is talking. Do friends drift off while you're pouring your heart out? According to a study, women like to talk about problems not in order to mend them but to share them as a way to minimize stress.

Some people-men particularly-take talk like this as a burdensome request for help. Let your friend or coworker know that you just want to vent for a few minutes about what's happening. Also advise him that he does not need to do anything or say anything about it. This way he won't have to assume that he needs to offer you a comforting solution.

No matter what, there is no way you can go wrong by making people feel important and showing some interest in what they have to say. In other words, you will be listened to more if you listen to others.

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