People divorce today at an astronomical rate. This is attributable to the disposable fast paced society that we live in today. And it's ridiculous. It's too easy to get a divorce today and lawyers are often chomping at the bit to make the money that a most unfriendly break up can bring. How does one save their marriage and stop divorce in a society that encourages individuality to the level of dysfunction?
As potential divorcees focus on placing blame on each other, they often neglect considering their own share of responsibility for the split. Also, few seem to comprehend the effect a society that places little value or emphasis on marriage has on children. It may be difficult to reconcile two parties desiring divorce, as powerful negative emotions --such as fear, mistrust, and anger--tend to be involved in their actions. However, if calm, rational thought is employed by the involved people, then the world's most valuable relationship --marriage --may be salvaged and preserved. A simple question can be used to great effect in maintaining a rocky relationship that might otherwise end in divorce:
Firstly, do you behave this way only because you're mad or afraid? That's not something the majority of folks ask themselves. But it's a crucial point, because no one can act rationally when they're overtaken by feelings of anger or fear.
Secondly, when a marriage becomes difficult, people seek to end it by divorcing their spouse. Each person in the marriage partnership is so busy blaming their spouse for the problems that had led to the divorce that they do not bother to look into their own hearts and ask to what extent they contributed to the break up of the marriage. Marriages fail because both the spouses played a part in bringing it to an end, just as both of them contributed to building a relationship that led to the marriage in the first place. When you contemplate divorce, ask yourself this question: What is my share of the blame for this sad situation?
Lastly, you must also ask yourself why you decided to marry this person who is now your spouse. Did you have unreal expectations? Or, did you know what you can really expect to have by marrying this person? When you try to preserve your marriage, you give yourself and your spouse and opportunity to become more mature and accommodating. You will lose everything when you just go ahead with your divorce. If the husband and wife would take the trouble to look into the situation and recognize what are the actual problems between them, it would be possible to find a way to solve these difficulties. They can find the way to reconcile with each other and nurture their marriage.
All of the above could be done if the couple can agree to take a look in the proverbial mirror. If not a marriage counselor may facilitate the process. One thing is for certain though.
Reflection is the key to rebuilding your marriage. You need to discern what troubles remain between the two of you. Remember the good times, and then figure out what changed. If you have cheated on your spouse, ask your spouse what steps can be taken to gain back their trust. In the event you cannot solve these problems, it is likely that your marriage will not survive.
If you and your spouse can agree to keep your marriage going, you can both work together to make your marriage strong and lasting. After all, one always reads, They married and lived happily ever after! Marriages are meant to last, aren't they?
As potential divorcees focus on placing blame on each other, they often neglect considering their own share of responsibility for the split. Also, few seem to comprehend the effect a society that places little value or emphasis on marriage has on children. It may be difficult to reconcile two parties desiring divorce, as powerful negative emotions --such as fear, mistrust, and anger--tend to be involved in their actions. However, if calm, rational thought is employed by the involved people, then the world's most valuable relationship --marriage --may be salvaged and preserved. A simple question can be used to great effect in maintaining a rocky relationship that might otherwise end in divorce:
Firstly, do you behave this way only because you're mad or afraid? That's not something the majority of folks ask themselves. But it's a crucial point, because no one can act rationally when they're overtaken by feelings of anger or fear.
Secondly, when a marriage becomes difficult, people seek to end it by divorcing their spouse. Each person in the marriage partnership is so busy blaming their spouse for the problems that had led to the divorce that they do not bother to look into their own hearts and ask to what extent they contributed to the break up of the marriage. Marriages fail because both the spouses played a part in bringing it to an end, just as both of them contributed to building a relationship that led to the marriage in the first place. When you contemplate divorce, ask yourself this question: What is my share of the blame for this sad situation?
Lastly, you must also ask yourself why you decided to marry this person who is now your spouse. Did you have unreal expectations? Or, did you know what you can really expect to have by marrying this person? When you try to preserve your marriage, you give yourself and your spouse and opportunity to become more mature and accommodating. You will lose everything when you just go ahead with your divorce. If the husband and wife would take the trouble to look into the situation and recognize what are the actual problems between them, it would be possible to find a way to solve these difficulties. They can find the way to reconcile with each other and nurture their marriage.
All of the above could be done if the couple can agree to take a look in the proverbial mirror. If not a marriage counselor may facilitate the process. One thing is for certain though.
Reflection is the key to rebuilding your marriage. You need to discern what troubles remain between the two of you. Remember the good times, and then figure out what changed. If you have cheated on your spouse, ask your spouse what steps can be taken to gain back their trust. In the event you cannot solve these problems, it is likely that your marriage will not survive.
If you and your spouse can agree to keep your marriage going, you can both work together to make your marriage strong and lasting. After all, one always reads, They married and lived happily ever after! Marriages are meant to last, aren't they?
About the Author:
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