Executive coach and author Marshall Goldsmith wrote, "Feedback is a gift that only other can give." What makes it so difficult for so many of us to give and receive feedback if that is the case?
Power is the culprit for much of the trouble we have giving and receiving feedback. Our motive may be to control people if we give feedback to someone. And our reluctance to accepting feedback is probably a resistance to change.
It can be very useful to clarify the reason for giving feedback before doling it out. Here we will explain five different types of feedback and ideas for handling each type.
Evaluation Feedback:
Evaluation Feedback is the most common that you will find in the workplace. Unfortunately, it is also the kind that is the least helpful. The timeframe at which evaluation feedback comes is always at the end. When the performance year is over. At the end of a class that took a week. Once a project has been completed. True, we all need to be willing to rate ourselves, and the evaluation feedback will improve our performance next time. But why not give and get feedback when we can learn from it real time?
Real-Time Performance Feedback:
This type of feedback is usually given by someone whose success depends on you; for example your boss. While it may be couched as an observation or something for you to think about, when someone shares performance feedback, they intend for you to change your behavior.
It is helpful to get clarifying information when you think that you are receiving performance feedback. Try asking, "what exactly would you like me to stop or start doing?" Once you get the feedback, make the change!
Fine-Tuning:
Fine-tuning feedback generally comes from people who are satisfied with the overall job you are doing, but see some areas you could tweak to get even better. One of the best examples of fine-tuning feedback I can give came from a course participant of mine. She let me know how much she got out of the course, and then asked if she could give me some feedback. She shared that when I nodded my head while listening to people in the audience, it made her feel as though I was rushing. WOW! I was blown away because I had no idea that this behavior had a negative effect on my audience.
Fine-tuning feedback is most effective when you share the impact a behavior has on you or on other people. The person who is giving you feedback doesn't want to change you or even to control you in some way. The person receiving the feedback has the chance to decide whether to change or not change, the person giving the feedback is merely sharing how they are impacted.
Feed-Forward:
Goldsmith came up with this one years ago. It involves making suggestions before, rather than waiting for them to fail at something and giving negative feedback later. For example, my husband had a presentation to give to the executive leadership committee at work, which was the first time he ever did anything like that. Before the presentation, his boss coached him on how much detail to include in his presentation, what he should wear, when he was expected to speak and more.
Slap Upside the Head:
Two years ago, a colleague who is also a great friend sat me down and said, "You are making yourself and others miserable. What do you think you're doing?"
Slap upside the head feedback should be reserved for only the best of friends. It is very personal feedback that should only be shared because you care about someone and are concerned. In his book, Who's Got Your Back, Keith Ferrazzi gives some great examples of this feedback along with the assertion that we all desperately need people in our lives who care enough to give it.
Slap upside the head feedback is not given with the intent of controlling or even changing for the sake of the person giving the feedback. The feedback is given because they understand your personal goals and see how your behavior is keeping you from reaching those goals.
Summary
Those giving feedback: Think through before giving feedback what the most appropriate form would be to achieve the intention you have for it. Keep in mind that unless you are in a position of authority, it is not your place to give evaluation feedback. You can lead a horse to water . . .
Those on the receiving end of feedback: remember that we are all unaware of how we come across at times, and feedback is the way we learn about these areas and have the opportunity to correct them. View the feedback as a gift, even if you decide you don't agree with it. If it's evaluation or performance feedback, you have a chance to change in order to do better in the eyes of others. If it's fine-tuning or slap upside the head feedback, you have the choice to change or not.
Power is the culprit for much of the trouble we have giving and receiving feedback. Our motive may be to control people if we give feedback to someone. And our reluctance to accepting feedback is probably a resistance to change.
It can be very useful to clarify the reason for giving feedback before doling it out. Here we will explain five different types of feedback and ideas for handling each type.
Evaluation Feedback:
Evaluation Feedback is the most common that you will find in the workplace. Unfortunately, it is also the kind that is the least helpful. The timeframe at which evaluation feedback comes is always at the end. When the performance year is over. At the end of a class that took a week. Once a project has been completed. True, we all need to be willing to rate ourselves, and the evaluation feedback will improve our performance next time. But why not give and get feedback when we can learn from it real time?
Real-Time Performance Feedback:
This type of feedback is usually given by someone whose success depends on you; for example your boss. While it may be couched as an observation or something for you to think about, when someone shares performance feedback, they intend for you to change your behavior.
It is helpful to get clarifying information when you think that you are receiving performance feedback. Try asking, "what exactly would you like me to stop or start doing?" Once you get the feedback, make the change!
Fine-Tuning:
Fine-tuning feedback generally comes from people who are satisfied with the overall job you are doing, but see some areas you could tweak to get even better. One of the best examples of fine-tuning feedback I can give came from a course participant of mine. She let me know how much she got out of the course, and then asked if she could give me some feedback. She shared that when I nodded my head while listening to people in the audience, it made her feel as though I was rushing. WOW! I was blown away because I had no idea that this behavior had a negative effect on my audience.
Fine-tuning feedback is most effective when you share the impact a behavior has on you or on other people. The person who is giving you feedback doesn't want to change you or even to control you in some way. The person receiving the feedback has the chance to decide whether to change or not change, the person giving the feedback is merely sharing how they are impacted.
Feed-Forward:
Goldsmith came up with this one years ago. It involves making suggestions before, rather than waiting for them to fail at something and giving negative feedback later. For example, my husband had a presentation to give to the executive leadership committee at work, which was the first time he ever did anything like that. Before the presentation, his boss coached him on how much detail to include in his presentation, what he should wear, when he was expected to speak and more.
Slap Upside the Head:
Two years ago, a colleague who is also a great friend sat me down and said, "You are making yourself and others miserable. What do you think you're doing?"
Slap upside the head feedback should be reserved for only the best of friends. It is very personal feedback that should only be shared because you care about someone and are concerned. In his book, Who's Got Your Back, Keith Ferrazzi gives some great examples of this feedback along with the assertion that we all desperately need people in our lives who care enough to give it.
Slap upside the head feedback is not given with the intent of controlling or even changing for the sake of the person giving the feedback. The feedback is given because they understand your personal goals and see how your behavior is keeping you from reaching those goals.
Summary
Those giving feedback: Think through before giving feedback what the most appropriate form would be to achieve the intention you have for it. Keep in mind that unless you are in a position of authority, it is not your place to give evaluation feedback. You can lead a horse to water . . .
Those on the receiving end of feedback: remember that we are all unaware of how we come across at times, and feedback is the way we learn about these areas and have the opportunity to correct them. View the feedback as a gift, even if you decide you don't agree with it. If it's evaluation or performance feedback, you have a chance to change in order to do better in the eyes of others. If it's fine-tuning or slap upside the head feedback, you have the choice to change or not.
About the Author:
Wendy Mack is a author, speaker, and change catalyst who specializes in helping leaders mobilize energy for change, For more articles and resources on leading and communicating change visit: www.WendyMack.com
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