The bad, bully or difficult boss who manages by exploding - uses fear as their motivating weapon. The truth is they are operating from fear-expressing their feelings instead of communicating. I don't advocate working with emotionally explosive bosses, but if you find yourself in this position there are few strategies you can implement until you find an alternative career opportunity.
Dealing with an explosive boss is similar to walking a mine field - there's no telling when your next step will be the wrong one. In extreme cases, any interaction might set off his or her fuse. Keeping this in mind, try to determine what ignites explosive reactions most frequently. Is it lateness, errors, bad news, missed deadlines or lost business that generates a response fueled by feelings? Do not avoid these situations, but prepare for them. Understand that fear is the underlying emotion and control what you can-your response.
Her remark sounded extremely odd to me. But I realized, after some thought, that our connection only lasted for a few seconds. So, saying "goodbye" logically made just as much sense as "hello." It had simply never occurred to me before that someone would address the end rather than the beginning of these extremely short interactions. And truthfully, if some one I passed like this in the U.S. had said "goodbye" to me, I would have thought they were crazy.
Maintain your calmness. Difficult as that might be the result is quite powerful. First, you'll feel better and second, your calm exterior may be the model of behavior your boss needs to experience in order to calm himself down. Allow the tantrum to play out without responding. Only 9-1-1 operators can say "calm down," so refrain from making that suggestion. When appropriate, acknowledge his or her feelings and offer alternatives. "I can see you are upset by this...and yet, I need to get a decision." (Or whatever you need.) Offer to continue the discussion to resolve the matter now or at another time.
Do not become a partner in the outburst. Just as an upset customer wants to be heard, allow the venting to occur. Offer alternatives. Be pleasant, firm and steady in your response. Know when to walk away. There may be times when the above steps do not work. If the ranting continues to escalate it might be wise to excuse yourself from the situation. In a neutral voice you might say: "Excuse me, John, I think it would be best for me to return to my desk until we can discuss this without yelling." Again, keep calm.
While most of us haven't had the chance to learn the specific "rules" for every culture, if we can accept that various cultures have different rules for interactions that are just as logical (or illogical) as our own, we are less likely to assume that a different verbal or behavioral response in the workplace is wrong or interpret a difference, no more important than saying "hello" versus "goodbye", as a deliberate offense.
Dealing with an explosive boss is similar to walking a mine field - there's no telling when your next step will be the wrong one. In extreme cases, any interaction might set off his or her fuse. Keeping this in mind, try to determine what ignites explosive reactions most frequently. Is it lateness, errors, bad news, missed deadlines or lost business that generates a response fueled by feelings? Do not avoid these situations, but prepare for them. Understand that fear is the underlying emotion and control what you can-your response.
Her remark sounded extremely odd to me. But I realized, after some thought, that our connection only lasted for a few seconds. So, saying "goodbye" logically made just as much sense as "hello." It had simply never occurred to me before that someone would address the end rather than the beginning of these extremely short interactions. And truthfully, if some one I passed like this in the U.S. had said "goodbye" to me, I would have thought they were crazy.
Maintain your calmness. Difficult as that might be the result is quite powerful. First, you'll feel better and second, your calm exterior may be the model of behavior your boss needs to experience in order to calm himself down. Allow the tantrum to play out without responding. Only 9-1-1 operators can say "calm down," so refrain from making that suggestion. When appropriate, acknowledge his or her feelings and offer alternatives. "I can see you are upset by this...and yet, I need to get a decision." (Or whatever you need.) Offer to continue the discussion to resolve the matter now or at another time.
Do not become a partner in the outburst. Just as an upset customer wants to be heard, allow the venting to occur. Offer alternatives. Be pleasant, firm and steady in your response. Know when to walk away. There may be times when the above steps do not work. If the ranting continues to escalate it might be wise to excuse yourself from the situation. In a neutral voice you might say: "Excuse me, John, I think it would be best for me to return to my desk until we can discuss this without yelling." Again, keep calm.
While most of us haven't had the chance to learn the specific "rules" for every culture, if we can accept that various cultures have different rules for interactions that are just as logical (or illogical) as our own, we are less likely to assume that a different verbal or behavioral response in the workplace is wrong or interpret a difference, no more important than saying "hello" versus "goodbye", as a deliberate offense.
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