How To Persuade People To Agree With You And Do What You Want | The Communication Blog

Saturday, November 28, 2009

How To Persuade People To Agree With You And Do What You Want

By Alex Philips

The ability to persuade people is priceless as it could be used to achieve success in almost all areas of life. Skillful persuasion can gain you promotion, add to your client base, have you sell anything effortlessly, help you get and keep a partner, make people open up to you so you can see how to help them and help yourself in the process, have people do what you tell them to do and even be pleased they did it, etc.

To successfully persuade people to adopt your view or do things your way requires a skillful show of: charisma, confidence, maturity, passion, patience, care and respect for other people. You simply CANNOT shove your views down other people's throats; they will explode in your face, and if you appear to be making too much of an effort you will narrow your chances. Persuasive skills could be mastered over a period of continuous practice.

One common misconception is viewing a person you want to persuade as an opponent. Persuasion is not a battle and never has been, instead it is helping others in order to help yourself. Once you begin to look at persuasion in this light, things will become easier for you. Always bear in mind that everyone you come across including a child is intelligent and has his/her own sets of ideas and views of ideals. You cannot introduce your ideas and hope for others to abandon theirs, instead construct your views around their ideals to have them do things your way.

It is possible that you know best, but NEVER make the mistake of telling someone that his/her idea is wrong even when you think it's downright stupid. This will extinguish any chances you have. What you need to do is get the individual to talk you through the reasons behind his/her idea, listen carefully and never interrupt. When he/she is done, try summarizing the points and ask if you have understood the points. There are chances that this person may now start to see his/her own flaws and will need a better idea, in any case the person will want to know your view. Now you can suggest your super idea; present it in a way that will prove to the person that he/she has a lot to gain from doing things your way instead.

Straight forward logic is always king, because human-beings by nature always seek the most stress-free way out. However, this requires you do a good research to have the issue at hand wrapped around your finger. You'll also need to prepare your answers to possible questions and objections. When it's a question, give a straight answer, but when it's an objection, then first listen attentively to the point being raised, agree to acknowledge the objector's intelligence, and finally suggest your super idea in a way that presents the most benefit to your "Persuadee".

You really need to be honest in your persuasive efforts to succeed in the long run. Admitting the fact that you also stand to gain if things happen your way is very decent and makes you more believable. You have to readily admit your own mistakes or any that you have made in the past that is related to what is on ground ~ this breathes an air of genuineness into the matter and it makes you appear humble. People don't like it when you come across as all seeing and all knowing. Trying to make a person you are persuading believe that you stand to gain nothing will ruin your efforts, because people generally tend to avoid anything that seem too good to be true.

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